nessahead.com

1. No more helicopters
2. No more sirens
3. No more yelling from the street
4. No more bikers/ricers revving their engines at the stoplight
5. No more of that guy that sits in the parking lot next door leaning on his horn so that someone will come move whatever car is blocking him
6. No more cockroaches
7. No more rats
8. No more o’possums
9. No more trash to clean up from the driveway
10. No more fliers to collect from the fence
11. No more fence, period.
12. The windows all seal shut so the warm/cool air stays in
13. The doors don’t have holes drilled into them from crazy drug addicts trying to break into the house
14. The ceiling isn’t falling down on my head
15. There’s no need for an air conditioner when you live less than a mile from the bay
16. The shower tile isn’t collapsing in on you
17. The bathtub is not in the floor
18. The toilet is not on a platform
19. There is a medicine cabinet
20. There are heat lamps in the bathroom to keep you warm
21. There is a goodly amount of water coming out of the shower head
22. You don’t have to look at yourself in a mirror while you’re peeing
23. The light switches all work
24. The light switches are where they should be
25. There is a light fixture in every room (sometimes two!)
26. The kitchen cabinets are clean and pretty to look at
27. So is the sink
28. So is the floor
29. The fridge was made in the past 20 years
30. There is a dishwasher
31. And a built-in wine rack
32. And a serving counter that keep the place feeling spacious
33. The trash can goes on a little platform that slides out from behind a little cabinet door
34. The view out the window above the kitchen sink doesn’t have any brick walls, chain link fence, or “NO PARKING” signs

More to come as time goes by, I’m sure…